A is A.
To B, A is also A.
Yet theses two A's, the one as depicted by A and the one as depicted by B are quite different.
Which is the correct A? Is it the A who A believes himself to be or is it the A who B sees?
i) If the the only correct version of A is the one A thinks he is then B is wrong and the only correct version of B is that known by B.
ii) If the only correct version of A is the one known by B then A is wrong about himself yet he knows the only correct version of B there is.
Version (ii) must be wrong as if the only correct version of someone is that known by others then the differing versions these others all hold invalidates the claim. The only possible truth from this is that every person has as many versions of himself as there are people who know him.
Version (i) says that no one can know anyone but themselves and so there are as many versions of a person as there are people they know and just one correct version.
Both ideas re-stress a conclusion many would guess if asked: that the C who is your friend can be the C who is another's enemy, can be the C who is Dad, can be the C who is boss, can be the C who is the cool guy and can be the C who is "that bastard".
So what use is the idea of self?
A -"My god this dress makes me look like the most wonderful woman on the earth."
B - "My god, that man is wearing a dress"
C - "Oh my Buddha must they blaspheme"
The idea of ego-self, the qualities you bestow upon yourself are fantasy that go no further than your own mind. You can be a bumbling fart yet be in a room who consider you to be the life of the party - or visa versa or nothing of the sort. You can consider yourself right most of the time and truly be very wrong. and so on.
What does come over in life is that if you know a person who is always complaining about others; that everyone they meet 'is an idiot', 'does stuff wrong', 'can't be trusted', 'is a complete pain in the proverbial...', then the one common factor is this miserable git doing all the looking and opinionating.
If you meet a person who just has the most wonderful life and has a good day when others don't and can't see what everyone is complaining about and just thinks that life is hunkey dory morning glory 10 story love story then the common factor is them.
Put both in a room and the miserable git will find much fault in Ms happy and will no doubt find them a miserable bore. Ms happy will find the best in Mr grumpy but would prefer it if he cheered up a little.
So Grumps opinion is that Happy is an idiot. But Grump thinks he is completely right. So Grumps opinion of Happy is wrong/right?
and so what?
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Tao Wow | Daily Cup of Tao
1 comment:
I wrote this before work today and as if to prove the point to myself my day began with the old guy who works with us laying into me repeatedly over how I was doing everything wrong/the hard way/ and so on. His advice was always silly and this was apparently his way of joking - he stirs people up.
Due to my way I was not reacting to him and as calmly as possible, given the circumstances, I was getting on with my job.
Seeing that I was not reacting he upped the level and as he did he did get to me. I turned to him and said:
"you and I know that you are being completely unhelpful, but if you have reached your age and find this is the best way to get on with people then perhaps you are right"
- I continued -
"anyway, I have no interest in a battle, so when you have won, do tell me and I will pat you on the back"
He was quiet for some time and later tried to be nice "have you had lunch yet" and so on but I still decided to remain quiet until he ran out of steam. i did not like that I had reacted and did not wish to react again.
Later in the day I realized why he acts the way he does. He is double the age of the next oldest person in the company and we are all much younger than him, this method of getting under peoples skin is his way of proving he is no failure in life. It is an ego thing and that is why I was able to overcome his games with silence and non-action (well, near none, bar the one retort) - His game is to prove 'yes I'm the old guy, but what do these youngsters know, hey I have them all going, ha ha ha' - but he is burning his brides. After slowly working his energy vampire routine on everyone he now has only the most fake of friendships left and I as one of the more forgiving people have reached the end of my forgivingly long fuse too. He is now relegated to "miserable old git" and while I will be polite to him, help him when he needs it, ask after his health, I will be unlikely to accept his back biting. I know I can not teach an old dog new tricks but I can learn myself both the reasons behind his ways and the best way to handle him if he tries it again.
There are people like this guy in all walks of life and their grumps and moans will go on, they will be the best at everything in a world of idiots, pissed off about this, grumpy about that, until they die.
Sad but true, mr grumpy, you're making your own bed.
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