On being Happy

You can't have a perfect past. You can't have a predictable future. Somehow you want both, but given a little thought, you accept the past can't be changed, and the future is unknown.


You may just want to be happy and at peace. So just be happy and at peace!


Are you cured? Of course not.


It is though the fact of the matter: That past you can't change, is gone. That future you can't know, isn't here. It is simply now, and there is nothing wrong with now.


Is there?


What is ruining this present moment? Thoughts of the past or dreams of the future. We can boil it all down to 3 things:


Things we reject

Things we want

And pure fantasy


Fantasy will look like an unnecessary addition later, but for now it's an important category to explore and it contains: Those arguments you have in your head that you never get to live out. The things you'll do when you win the lottery. The job or relationship you'd be in if it wasn't for that unfortunate event.


These fantasies make up for a lot of what goes on in your mind and, as they've done this for most of your waking and even sleeping hours, they will be hardest to shake.


They are though why you're seeking happiness and not just simply being happy.


Fantasies are a waste. You'll never be free of them though, and some will be fun, so you'll never convince yourself to stop fantasising, nor could you ever prevent your mind from having them. The only trick you'll learn, is to recognise when the mind is in a useless place, forgiving yourself for the inevitable, and moving on.


The same will happen for rejecting and wanting. They will happen, but you'll train yourself to recognise them and let them go.


Take care here not to reject those thoughts you don't like. As that's rejecting. You just need to notice them, with the smallest brush of attention, and move on.


In bad times we reject what is happening. In good times we want what is happening to last. At other times we wish for good times and we also wish for bad things to not occur. Yet we have never altered the past or brought a future into being. We're a little bit silly. We do not learn and we are not alone.


Content, peaceful and happy are not things that benefit you at any other time than the present moment. And the present moment is short. If you notice that the present moment is contaminated in some way, you can let it go in a moment and have a pleasant next moment.


Focus just on your next in breath. Relax as you breathe out. Breathe in again, and smile through your eyes as you exhale. Breathe in again, and out.


3 breaths. Happy, content and at peace.


Then what? Likely back normal.


The present moment is it. That's where we experience, that's where we are, that's the only place that happiness matters, and it's the only place that happiness exists. Our only job is to fix the present moment. And repeat.


As the mind wanders and sets about with business as usual: wanting this, rejecting that, dreaming of this, wishing for that, the same simple trick is the solution. You don't try to extend that fleeting moment of happiness from before, you don't reject that invasive thought that occurred, you breathe, and let go.


Lovingly and forgivingly, watch thoughts pass by. Don't judge or rate your mind for having thoughts or get caught up in how good or bad you think you are at letting them go. Breathe, and move on.

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Tao Wow | Daily Cup of Tao