Satori is not the goal at the end, it is the begining of the path. I was on my bicycle nearly 4 years ago, riding through a forest with no other people and thinking how this was my forest, this was my earth, everyone was welcome to share in the pleasure of nature here but only I was choosing to. Most were obviously somewhere else, at home in front of the TV, doing things, perhaps working, shopping, driving, I was there with nature. My mind was opening up to the reality of life behind the curtain and I stopped under a particular set of trees that I can picture now, I looked at one very unimpressive tree, soaked with the rain from an hour before, some branches broken by snow or wind, no leaves, and I saw its perfection - I thought the very strange thought of "trees don't ask why". And then I had my most clear moment of Satori where I saw life as it really is, as one, in perfection.
After this time I took more and more interest in explaining the state, I had no idea it was Satori only that I could explain it to no one not even my self, but it was life changing, unique and very important to me. I felt noticeably different in my actions, body and mind. I had to find similar people and it was after that time that I came to find book after book of clarification of the event.
I bought a ticket to India, it would be my second visit and I was intending to take meagre funds just to meet a friend for a short trip. I bought 6 books all about New Physics, the mind, nature of reality and on arriving in India I sat in a hammock for 7 weeks reading and what turned out to be meditating. (I bought books, swapped old for new, constantly throughout the trip.) I decided I would not be rushing home and when my friend showed up we spent a little more time where I was, I realised I had spent 2 months in a pair of shorts, nothing else, not even foot ware and I had a very new perspective on life. I lent him my books and we set off with his girlfriend across India. I got very ill on a boat crossing to the Andamin Islands, it was a disgusting boat and we were on it for 3 days, I had not been wearing shoes still which was very stupid in India. We befriended an older Scottish guy who just happened to be very well read in the some of the authors that came up in my book list, my state of awareness was unlike the me of old, illness and all I was in states of minor hallucination and spending time in deep conversation and meditative states.
The Andamin Islands then were beauty beyond words, we became used to crystal clear seas, empty paradise beaches, fresh coconuts falling from trees. With little to do besides enjoy nature and snorkel the coral, we decided to fish one day. The only fish caught was on my friends hand made line, the hook was too big for the fish and on seeing the little fish struggle as I attempted to release it, I chopped of its head brutally with a coconut splitter. -- I decided to go vegetarian for 3 days to say sorry, but due to a further development in the way I see life I have not eaten meat since.
After the Andamin Islands we crossed back to India on the 3 day boat of poo with more friends and left some others behind, the friends recommended a Yoga Ashram - I disliked the idea. I disliked how people could structure a path to "god" and when I saw the Ashram had lots of money I disliked how they were profiteering from the same. But I settled in, it had a nice atmosphere, some very good teachers, good people and I was there over a month. I ignored all the god stuff, singing and praising but took a lot from the talks and the various levels of knowledge other people there had, in particular elements of the Hindu Vedanta and the path of Zen.
We ate pure vegetarian food, learned breathing techniques and did Yoga Assana's twice a day. The Ashram was in the middle of nowhere and the best place for Assana was by a large lake with a forest all around. I was in deep state of relaxation when a Lion, yes a Lion, in a far off reserve called out with a deep long roar - I had my second most incredible state of Satori, feeling the power and beauty of what I was coming into touch with, what I truly was.
After the Ashram my illness that had subsided began to return, we travelled a lot and were in place that is very very hot, a rock desert, I began to not be able to eat or even drink. I was unable to hold food or water for 2 weeks and in that time we moved out from the desert to the coast, We arrived at Om beach. We found a guy with a vat of pure LSD and he dropped a large drop on the back of each of our hands. As a token effort we licked our hands but the LSD was already soaked into our bodies, in not too long the sky drew in, the clouds illuminated in colour the sand took the texture of ..well it is too much to explain.. the sky darkened for night and the stars were all within reach, they were in a 3D pattern occupying my closed field of vision, I could touch them. Later I was in a ball, my empty stomach was reacting to the lack of food and the LSD combined with my poor state of health took me on a journey.
I was on Om beach, the very sacred place for Hindus. I met Krisna, Buddha, even Gaia, I traveled out of my body, experienced body death, ego death, death. I died. I ..can't explain.. It was magical and I wish I could sell it to you. Krisna, was an old man with his wife and he showed me some things he was carving from wood, Gaia complained about the plastic pollution in India but otherwise had little to say, and most importantly for me, Buddha and I just sat in silence, facing each other, and I knew that having nothing to say and no questions to ask was a very very clear indication of how correct this experience was. Plus I forgot to say, I also met the snakes and reptiles, they for a time made up all the solid matter around me, walls floors and items were made of writhing snakes. Magical only, not scary or negative at all. The rest of the experience was non-solid and made only of motion and distant light.
The next day I found I could eat and began a slow journey of recovery, feeding my thin body, we moved on and travelled north. On my journey I picked up a copy of the Tao Te Ching, a book I had until then only seen quoted in other books, I had found the closest written work to the truth to date and I study it still now. -- After some time in the mountains, feeling healthy and happy, 6 months in India had passed, and my visa was at an end. I still did not want to go home and I headed for Thailand.
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Tao Wow | Daily Cup of Tao
