I have a very close family of Mum Dad Sister and Me. I also hold my Grandma dearly as I am one of the few people who actually like hearing the same stories over and over just so I can smile at how details change on each retelling.
Apart from that, while I have cousins, uncles and aunts there is an exponential drop off in closeness. My grandad on my mums side had 12 bothers and sisters and in recent years they have slowly popped off like the slowest game of 12 pin bowling ever to be played.
I have only been tested by the death of a close one twice, both grandads so I am yet to know if I am as wise as I think when it comes to death. So far deaths have been quite unimpressive things and I have always tended to have philosophical or far removed responses to them and not heart wrench or pain.
Oh my dog died, that was sad, but I seem to be over it as I only just remembered now.
My ways to see death were normally of the "return to the source" "They had a good life" "They were happy to go" sort of responses, fairly unemotional. The idea of someone returning to the source or so on seemed quite valid to me but I guess my ideas are adapting.
I now see how the body returns to source, we see dead people everywhere, -I see dead people- I really do, there, there, over there, just there, Ok, it looks like air, trees, rocks and other people but that is it, our own bodies recycle quite often too but we the life source keep the skin bag animated as it changes size, gets spots, wrinkles and finally withers away. The body reconfigures often and does eventually return to source.
We though are the animating life source to that which is born, lives and dies off. And that life source is more what people morn the loss of. People miss characteristics of the deceased, they miss the form of the body, but what they really miss is the life. The characteristics live on in peoples memories, the body lives on as a new form but the life source?
The life source does not die and is not unique to anyone. It just gives up on animating particular lumps of flesh when they wear out, get squashed or maimed or die of boredom in front of life depleting TV in retirement homes. There is only one source to all of these bodies, it has all these bodies and it can not die.
So no one was born or died, the life source took on a new body, the common method by when mother divides into herself and a mini-me, and then it goes on animating this new form along with the old and it casts off that which is old or broken. Quite brutally in one way but majestically and wonderfully in another.
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I often notice a certain Synchronicity in the subject of people's posts and here is a very nice post from Rizal Affif at the Soul Sanctuary.
I really love the way you explain about One Source of Life animating flesh bodies. Now life-and-death matter looks so simple, yet so true and powerful--truly, an important post to share (since I myself have difficulty in explaining to those asking why I don't seem to grieve at someone's death).
ReplyDeleteBTW, thanks for the link ;)
When I counsel individuals who have 'lost' a close loved one, it is only at the point their spirituality kicks in that they really begin to heal.
ReplyDeleteWorking on a tribal reservation many of the people I see have a deep connection with the spirit world already...and heal relatively quickly.
You obviously have true experience in this area which is great to hear about :)
ReplyDeleteI am not really in a position to talk, I can only say how I think things are as until I lose a close one then I have no real sense of the situation.
Dealing with the death of a close loved one is difficult, even in the best circumstances. Thus far, I've lost my mother and both sets of grandparents to the Grim Reaper. My maternal grandmother's and mother's deaths were really hard to cope with. Of course, I was younger then and not so far along my Taoist path.
ReplyDeleteStill, I can't fathom how I would cope if my dear wife, father or brother died.
I now Chuang Tzu was said to beat a drum and sing a song. I don't know myself. Maybe cry, it seems like a good mechanism for release.
ReplyDeleteIt will surely be tough but should also be a celebration of the good times and a reminder to get the most of each day we have together alive.