> who whistled? <

This is a Tow Wow Important post

I was sitting today, nothing on my mind, nothing to do, completely content, not one speck or a notion, calm, - and I whistled. My lips pursed and I blew and a sound resonated and I heard it bounce around the room.

The odd thing was that I caught the whistler. I caught the great mind acting through me, pretending to be a human sitting, relaxed and it was playing, having fun, and I saw it happen. I was aware of the whistle but had no idea who decided to whistle, why or how. I saw the universe sit back and whistle. It was striking and shocking.

Later in the day I was cycling up a steep road from the beach back towards the park with all the lakes. My legs were pushing, most of my action was automated. Legs pushed, cycle balanced, heart pumping, cells doing cell stuff, bacteria turning food to energy... I was able, with all the automation to watch some birds playing as I made my way slowly past them up the hill, they fluttered about and I caught the legs and eyes of a particular one in my view, the legs took a little side shuffle, the eyes got a glimpse of me and then away again. I was struck with great intensity that this was the action of not many life forms and things but the many actions of one great mind.

Where could I draw a single line? Where did I come into this? It was savagely apparent that I did not come into it at all! The I that caught the whistle, the I watching the me cycle and the birds flutter, the I that thought it knew the bits of the body working was frying-pan-in-the-face-apparent-ly a pure hallucination.

Even later in the day I had a brief conversation with a Christian friend who was challenging me on whether I would have a baby in my life (a whole chapter in itself). His points were, amongst others that "it was a gift from god". (So drunken teenagers are blessed indeed).

Finally the evening came and I was talking to my Dad. We were talking, by his choice not mine, about ants, bees, birds and other animals that operate not as a single unit but as cells in an organism. Kill a Queen ant and the rest will not even return to the nest, they will simply die where they are no matter how far away. We see individual ants when in reality it is an organism who's cells, thoughts, and information flow through what we call ground and air.

All in all quite a synchronised day, all things pointing the same way, so where, if any, is the conclusion? And what about the Christian God?

---

Come the end of the conversation with my dad, I was going on quite a bit about how we really have very little say, if any at all, about what we think we "do" and what is happening, and that any notion of self is a gesture like blowing to help the wind along.

I went on to say this is truly all one ... and was cut off mid sentence with my dad saying "you'll be talking about god soon". Which really spoiled my flow and made for the second time in the day that god had ruined an otherwise perfect day of exploration.

Back at the start of my day I had nothing to do. Later I was car-battery-to-the-testicles-aware that I did not exist, and by the end of the day god had entered my life twice; through 1) the incomplete mind of a Christian and 2) the tainted language and reason of English.

Nothing to do is always the case, especially when you see with ineluctable !!!ness that you have not one spec of autonomy that does not come about of itself. I don't exist, nothing does. God is simply not part of this equation. God is a cop-out answer. There is not and can not be a god. There is also, and can not be, just one big accident going on. (first there was nothing, and then all of a sudden it exploded - AKA science and atheism).

Neither God, science or accident explain this. They are all faith based and all require a knower and I know there is no such entity as a knower.

or a know,

or an anything,

nothing with a name,

So why Tao??

I dislike the word Tao as it has been written to be God - it fucking isn't. The whole point of Tao is that it is beyond name and dualism. I like Tao for the reason it is a name for that which can not be named (have to admit that is at least funny). I dislike that people then try to define it. It is undefinable, it is the name for, in a way, infinity, that which is everything and without other.

So Tao, I will not use here as; 1) it is contaminated by attempts to define it 2) about to be made worse by me doing the same 3) something you will find alone and not learn from books.

Then to wrap up?

God can fuck off. When I see the action of "that which is", in perfection, absolute cream-my-eyes-and-bathe-me-in-boob-milk blissful completeness, magic beyond the realm of flaw or notion, crystal clarity, one acting as it is: then that is it! No lines, no definition, just WOW!! with a capital FUCK.