People looking out for love are surly attempting to find someone else to "complete them" and this is not healthy. If a broken person finds solace in another then they will apply pressure to the relationship and may not be loving the person but the love of the person, loving the love not the lover.
Should the relationship have difficult times and the love seem to weaken then the person is back to the incomplete them, minus the support of their lover, they will surly handle the situation badly and lay blame around rather than be pulled through by genuine love.
Having not been fully able to love themselves, they did not truly love their lover, love is not strong enough as it is not real enough and blame occurs.
When love is real then the other person is loved as the self and change in them is accepted as change in you. You know that your desires and goals can shift as your life goes on, and so too you can accept this in another. Should things go bad, love is still true, bad times are ridden out and even a possible ending to the companionship is taken with an understanding of the way of life. We can not say to our lover that we will be with them forever and nothing will change, we can hope for this, we can do our best, but that is all.
In loving yourself you are fit for the world, in loving yourself your natural path is towards others who are equally ready. A path of lust brings lustful transience, a path of love brings true love. The corrected beings come together, love and respect as they would understand themselves, apply no demands on the other and in doing so unite for as long as is natures way.
We can not fill a broken heart with with a broken heart. We can not complete a person with an incomplete person. These methods may form support, relationships may form, love may form, but there will always be the same underlying issues and from these cracks in the foundation even the most smoothly polished exterior can tumble apart.
Rumi Said that "it is not for us to find love, but to remove, one by one, the barriers we built inside that keep us from it."*
When that has been done then true love is present and will build bridges from one heart to the next.
________________________________
(*Possibly mis-attributed to Rumi)
...in complete agreement...
ReplyDelete